Rin's Epic Pick-up Line Fail
by Sky Blue Hunter's Soul
Summary: An AU in which Rin won the gay bar lottery, Sousuke hates his life, Haru can't trust anyone when his friend is too sexy for anybody's good, and Rei's a poor idiot who wants to ask the bartender out but he gets so flustered he doesn't know how and orders drinks all night to have an excuse to talk to the pretty bartender but gets absolutely smashed. Nagisa serves drinks and observes.


MakoRin I am unapologetic for. Thanks to a Tumblr prompt because I got an idea. Am torn between standalone, adding a MakoRin chapter, or adding some more and making it a Marinka (of course).

* * *

**Rin's Epic Pick-up Line Fail**

Rin had been staring at the hot brunette sitting at the bar for a literal hour and he was still no closer to actually approaching the hunk and asking for... well, anything, Rin was kinda desperate. He'd accept a number, a date, or even a rushed quickie in the bathroom. He just _really_ wanted to talk to that gorgeous guy.

Sousuke had been casting his best friend exasperated looks for ages but no matter the amount or type of prodding he did nothing worked. Rin was feeling a little too chicken shit to talk to that sexy beast at the bar.  
It was as he was rolling his pant leg back up that Sousuke grabbed his arm and hauled Rin upright easily. Rin yelped and struggled in his friend's hold, cursing and spitting Sousuke's name, only silenced once Sousuke released him and gripped both shoulders.

"Rin, for fuck's sake, don't bother showing off the damn ankle bracelet if you're aren't going to _do_ anything with it."

Rin blushed and stammered- yes, the anklet meant he was available (and a bottom) but it didn't mean he had enough confidence to just walk up to a random stranger that looked _that fucking hot_ and was clearly _way_ out of his league- and shrugged out from under Sousuke's hands.  
"It's not- well, I mean, I- look, it's just that-"

Sousuke sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Do you want me to ask him out _for_ you."

"What? No! I'm a big boy, Papasuke, I can ask guys out on my own!"

"And yet I've been standing here for an hour watching you watch him with no progress. Rin, I'm not even gay. I am here solely because I'm trying to keep an eye on you and making sure you get home. Or that you don't pick up some disgusting pig when drunk. Point is, if you're not gonna hit on that guy, I'm going to toss you over my shoulder and we're going home."

To that Rin had no reply except a lurid red that stained his cheekbones.

Sousuke sighed and dragged a hand through his hair. They had a short Mexican standoff after that but finally- blushing up to his ears- Rin huffed and spun on his heel.

"Fine!"

* * *

As Rin traversed the dance floor, avoiding sweaty body after sweaty body, he found his confidence. The brunette with the deliciously broad shoulders and defined back (the shirt he was wearing was sinfully tight) remained on his stool, chatting up the petite blonde bartender, sipping the amber liquid in his shot glass with an unusual delicacy. He looked gentle and friendly and completely approachable and Rin found himself thinking, _"I can do this."_

He slid onto the stool next to the hottie and flashed the bartender a winning smirk. They both regarded him with a mild sort of surprise- like he'd crashed their party unawares- but neither commented on it. The bartender asked his order in a chipper tone and he gave it, focusing on the man at his side and rewarded with a warm smile.

"Hello," the brunette said just loud enough to be heard over the throb of the bass.

Rin told himself he was being stupid for thinking his knees might have gone a little weak at the sight of that smile.

"Hey," he greeted in a voice that sounded ludicrously suave, even to him. "I haven't seen you before. I'd remember those eyes."

First things first, Rin felt a very strong urge to punch himself in the face because _how dumb had that been_. Secondly, though, it was true: the man had some of the most gorgeous green eyes Rin had ever seen in his life. Third, and dear god, the way his skin creased into laugh lines on the edges of those eyes was _absolutely adorable_.

"This isn't really my scene," the brunette replied with a quick little gesture of the two fingers not holding his shot glass.

"That's a pity," Rin replied, dragging his eyes up and down the man's entire (cut and defined and fan-fucking-tastic) body.

This time the look and the grin he got was part amusement, part coyness, and all sexy. On the other end of the bar- but apparently still in earshot- the bartender giggled. The brunette cast him a mild look of disappointment so motherly even Rin almost felt abashed. Before Rin could feel more queasy about the fact that he was making a total fool of himself the man turned back to him with that warm smile.

"Is it such a pity? I really don't think so."

Rin tried his hardest not to bite his cheek and say something else to put his foot in his mouth. This guy definitely absolutely _totally_ belonged in a club. Or in Rin's bedroom. Rin wouldn't be picky.

"So why _are_ you here then?"

The man laughed softly and sipped his drink again. "Keeping an eye on my friends."

Rin leaned a little closer to the entrancing man, taking the tumbler offered to him by the blonde behind the counter, and the bubbly bartender winked at the brunette. Then the blonde promptly skipped to the other end with a martini for a blue-haired man who looked like he'd already had _way_ too much in the way of drinks.

"So is this your friends' scene then?" Rin asked, curious. He took a swig of his drink and firmly told himself not to wince at the burn of alcohol a little stronger than he was used to.

"Well, yes and no." The man laughed and pointed with a pinky as he gestured to the only awkward man on the dance floor, then switched his shot glass to the other hand and pointed out a ridiculously fine redhead dancing with... well, the girl looked familiar for some reason, but Rin kept staring at the corded forearms in full display right in front of him rather than trying to figure out the girl's identity. He couldn't help but wonder if this man could lift him clean off his feet and if so, how easily..?

"That's Haru and Seijuurou," the sex god at Rin's side said with a note of mirth in his tone. "You can see for yourself who's the yes and who's the no."

That was for damn sure, Rin thought. Haru looked like a fish out of water but Seijuurou had some _moves_.

Still absorbed in Haru's horrible dancing, Rin cocked a disbelieving eyebrow and asked in a deadpan tone, "Have you ever thought of giving him some alcohol to loosen him up?"

The brunette laughed and Rin's stomach fluttered as he rotated back to face the bar. "That _is_ loosened up. For Haru, at least."

"Christ..." Rin winced, throwing back a heavier gulp. He had to force himself to swallow it down.

The bartender giggled again and pink eyes were watching Rin knowingly even as he made a show of comforting the forlorn blue-haired drunkard. Rin gnashed sharp teeth in the brat's direction.

"So how do you know this _isn't_ your thing?" Rin asked, surreptitiously looking the apparently gentle giant up and down. "You don't know you don't like something until you try it. Gay sex is the same way."

With a tiny, absolutely wicked smirk, the brunette brought his drink to his lips. "Now who said _that_ was what I'm not into?"

Rin spat out his swallow of whiskey and the tumbler fell from numb fingers to splash liquid all over the top of the bar. He turned a stunned gaze on the hot stranger and in the background the bartender burst into shrieks of laughter.

"But- then- what's... What's not your thing?!" Rin exclaimed. "The music?"

The man cocked his head to listen to the beat for a moment. "Mmm, not my preferred genre but certainly not horrible enough to turn me off."

Dear lord Rin was being played like a violin and he didn't even care.

"Then what?" He asked weakly.

"Oh, nothing," the sexy brunette replied. "I'm really just a one, maybe two, man kind of guy. Crowds are certainly not anything I'm fond of. Especially not the horny kind of crowd."

Rin was officially biting his lip. "Oh..." He managed out the corner of his mouth.

The man laughed again and Rin wished he'd stop because hearing him laugh made Rin's stomach do odd acrobatics. "Please, calm down. You've gotten all tense and that wasn't my intention at all."

Rin blinked. Stared into intensely green eyes like a lovestruck puppy. Maybe he was a lovestruck puppy. Maybe he should say something. Maybe he ought to shake the hand being offered to- huh?

Rin blinked cluelessly at the gesture; his brain had shorted out right about the same time he'd first heard that little chuckle.

"Tachibana Makoto," the brunette- Makoto- said and broke Rin's dazed trance.

Rin shook the hot stranger's hand. "Matsuoka Rin."

Makoto smirked again and his grip tightened. Rin had all of a moment to ponder whether he should fear for his life because good god this guy was big before Makoto was drawing him in close and leaning forward. Rin's eyes widened but his spine locked down when warm breath fanned over his ear.

"So, are you up for what that ankle bracelet tells me?"

Somehow, in the middle of melting into a fucking puddle of hormones and desire Rin managed to squeak an affirmative.

Makoto smirked again and stood. Rin stumbled off his stool and fidgeted awkwardly while Makoto beckoned the still-snickering bartender over.

"Nagisa, you're designated driver tonight, please don't forget that. Make sure Haru and Seijuurou _and yourself_ get home safely, please? Also, perhaps offer poor Ryugazaki-san a lift. He seems like he may need one. To _his_ house, though, Nagisa."

The bartender snapped a sharp salute- ruined by the salacious wink and the tongue poking between his lips- and chirped, "Roger!"

Haru had frozen in the middle of the dance floor, looking supremely torn as he watched Makoto chat up Nagisa, but Rin skimmed over the man and found Sousuke's cool gaze. Sousuke had lifted an eyebrow, but he was a second away from smirking, and Rin flashed him the goofiest grin Sousuke had ever seen on his friend's face (not that Rin realized it was goofy, he in fact felt very assured of himself) and a pair of thumbs up.

"Ready to go?"

Rin whirled and his expression smoothed back into indifference. Which dropped a second later because when Makoto shoved his hands in his pockets it drew his jeans _niiiice_ and tight against his gorgeous backside and _hello, libido, been a while!_ Green eyes sparkled and Rin could still spot the edge of a coy smile even though Makoto was glancing back over his shoulder.

"Sure thing, Makoto."


End file.
